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[Sep. 15th, 2010|02:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
this space is so neglected. Poo mentioned that i havent been blogging, i dont like to do it much anymore, come to think of it. ): anyhow, im here now because im desperately trying to find an excuse to not start revising CAT. CAT, ie: Computer Analysis Tool, is the bane of my existence as i totally catch no balls and it is not gna make my GPA go any higher ): hahaha but ive really tried as best as i can to tell myself that getting a good grade in school is not everything! im not smart but at least ive dabbled in other experiences that others might not have! (:
im getting so sick of my music. i used to pride myself in the fact that my music taste stands out from the rest(due to the immense influence my sister had on me), and through her i got to know alot of cooler bands which people have not heard of. But now, im getting sick of those sings and ive been trying to explore new bands, but to no avail ):
school's been alright so far, i somehow dont feel that busy, probably cos i dont have that many group projects, and even if i had, they are all gna come in in week 12! (i think i got 2-3 presentations during that week), but whatever that shall worry for itself. Softball trainings have increased to twice a week, and ive been hitting the gym, which is good (: healthy lifestyle (: gym training makes me ache when i crawl out of bed in the morning but the feeling of utterly satisfying. Nothing beats the training back in TKG though (:
I'm starting to appreciate the smaller things in life, yet at the same time setting my eyes on the goals ahead that i have. I am gna work harder than ever. came up with this theory, if you dont do it now, when will you! if you dont club now, when will you? when you're 40 and wrinkled? if you dont work ur ass now, when will you? when you're 50 and having a midlife crisis and realise there is nothing you can do abt it anymore? if you dont keep n treasure your friends n make time for them, when will you? when you are 50 and realise you got noone to go on and overseas retirement trip around the world with?
Ought to start, living for the moment (: |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 20th, 2010|11:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pessimistic | ] |
boys.are.stupid. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2010|01:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
just had my 20th birthday yesterday, with the people who mattered the most. though a thousand of them were missing from this group, i was more than contented! I felt so happy, and so at ease to be myself. We all say weird things along the way, we scream tactless comments n we say that this person has big feet or what, but nothing is ever taken to heart. n for the record sylvianne, you're really super important to me also! i jus said that like while doing my analysis on who else was coming!
I miss the rest of my clan, i miss the two short people, i miss pans! i miss pheebs! i miss louisa tan hui shan who is turning 21 in a month and is still at camp. hahahaha meet you guys soon! i was just counting, i only have like 10 close friends, and either more or less than 12 would make you depressed as what i learnt from sociology class last time. But, i was far from depressed yesterday! :]
thankyou joel sng, for all the planning, coordinating, n thankyou for loving me.
im meeting my cellgroup tonight, n im so touched by yane's efforts to plan the little small gathering :] hahaha |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 8th, 2010|10:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
come to think about it, i think i kinda forgot how to blog. I havent written in so darn long, and to think i had the cheek to say i embrace writing! im gna try to get this habit back, even if noone reads this space anymore. I ought to have the mentality that i write cos i enjoy it, and not cos others read it.
finished some 2 day job thing under the hot scorching sun this week, i thought i had a good deal. But it was actually only abt $6 an hour! But well, doesnt really matter, it beats sitting at home and rotting my guts off.
time seriously FLIES. i cant believe my long long 3 mth break is gone in a flash! i just bidded for my modules this sem, and thank God i got most of them. I'm so thankful im spared the agony of having to replan my entire schedule for next sem and having to think about prices and go through the pains of BOSS BIDDING. Any SMU student would understand the pains of this. And, i still dont get it why we have to use e$, why must everything have to do with trying to instill some sort of business acumen in the students.
commitments in church starting to pile up again, as it hastily slips into the middle of the year and therefore, commencement of the planning of those mandatory church camps. I am starting on something new for the younger camp by doing missions, which is to allow the children to spread their love to the community, abit like CIP. And, Vic asked me if im still interested to help out with the older camp by doing programmes. Rather apprehensive about it, due to the insane amt of work my school is known to give, and having to do 2 camps which are back to back isnt exactly the smartest choice. But yet so, i kinda want that challenge. Lynn asked me whats the reason why i want to take up these camps, and i honestly dont really have an answer to it. Maybe, its time to say NO!
and it has been about a month, a tat bit more than that, and i STILL miss my OCIP mates. i still miss the times we hung out every single day. i miss the moments when i got back to singapore and felt awkward without seeing them then i woke up. i miss the days we got bitten by mozzies and annoyed by flies and that amt of concern we showed one another. I miss the days i woke up a grumpy monster and had them asking me multiple times how i was. I miss being called retarded crazy silly blur and knew somehow despite it all, they'll look out for me. i miss falling asleep on esther's shoulder on the bobbing crazy busride to i dunno where, and she always giving me 2 seats out of the three. I miss screaming the weird names i called everyone and knowing that they will still laugh even though i do it umpteen times.
time to snuggle into bed, and read some kite runner. and find some determination to pick up that something that has been lying by the side of my bed for the longest of time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 21st, 2010|11:37 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
Alright, now for my rare appearance of this dying blog of mine.
I honestly felt like blogging, but the words that i started to type were so incoherent and the level of English that i possessed whilst typing slightly disgusts me ):
So byebye ): i shall blog another time then. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 31st, 2010|07:27 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | thankful | ] |
ahhhh, back from the philippines and i have yet to blog about my trip. I wonder who still even reads this space cos i barely even blog unless i find the excessive need to write.
I have been back for a week and my schedule is STILL in a mess. this is exactly what 3 weeks without internet does to you. But despite that, i enjoyed that simplicity of life that the philippines could offer. I could sit at the same spot for 30 mins doing nothing but stare at lizards eat mosquitoes, or just wake up at 6am in the morning, after being rudely awaken by techno music from the neighbouring huts. Even so, waking up at 6am wasnt that all bad, i could take the time to talk to God, listen to some good christian music that my ipod could offer.
The normal routine would be to wake up at about 6am, have my good ol' trusty breakfast with nutella to let my teeth sink into their awesome bread(its amazingly soft mushy bread)! Then aft that change back into my construction jeans which are completely caked in cement(i dont/cant be bothered to wash them), and head down to construction. We would usually dig sand mix cement saw metal, whatever things that you thought could be easily done with machines, we did it with our hands. It was really hard work, you could see the boys' muscles growing larger day by day. As we worked under the beating sun and getting our tan, our team got so much closer making fun of one another and getting to know one another better.
I made some awesome friends there and some to know some old friends better :] I kinda miss the place there now, the slow pace of life and how they were able to spend the entire day cooking. I miss seeing the same people every single moment of my life and sharing all the stupid jokes and blonde moments with them. I think we have all seen the worst side of everyone we dont really know whats really unglam anymore HAHA.
Here are some of the photos, look! i took photos with KIDS even though i dont really like them! :] Theres some of boracay also, the gorgeous island which we went for R&R.
Meeting some of the girls tmr for a swim at bukit timah :] cant wait to see them! |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 29th, 2010|11:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | moody | ] |
I'm flying in 2 days time. The awesome thing about SMU is that, time passes so darn quickly! Before i know it, im done with year1, done with the finals, done with exams and all ready to enjoy 4mths of summer! :]
Ok, i dont know whether i shd use the word enjoy, cos things havent exactly been going the way i wanted it to recently. The hurtful feeling of rejection one after another, and that feeling of not being good enough or not fitting in, that pressure to improve my grades but yet nth really showing itself ): But well, there is more to life than grades?
I cant believe im finally flying after so many months of preparation. After the exams, i spent my past 2 weeks in school rehearsing and preparing for this trip and i got to know more of my OCIP friends, who have been perfectly awesome. I really thank God for this people, whom i can click with and they laugh at my jokes (HAHA). yay :]
I need some love tonight ): |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 16th, 2010|05:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  groggy | ] |
Somehow, i wish that things will take a turn for the better, and maybe for once, i would not be lagging behind my SMU friends so badly as they score they As and A+s. All i need is just, one, and i will be more than contented. The feeling of being left behind, sucks ):
I will never be the cream of the crop ): |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 15th, 2010|11:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | gloomy | ] |
"His strength is perfect when our strength is gone"
the past week has been a rather gloomy one. Joel's teammate passed away on monday, and following after another church friend's grandmother passed away ): I dont know how to react to such things much, everything just feels so surreal. It made me realise how fragile life is, and how much more we have to treasure the many little things around us, to lead a God-pleasing life as much as we know how. Seeing their sad faces, knowing how many tears these friends/loved ones have shed, really just makes my heart ache.
Just a week or so ago, i heard Joel frantically calling up his friends teachers to get this friend's parents number cos of the accident. And 11 days later, the guy passed away ): and he is only 21 ): he had such a great deal of life to experience and now, it just stops short here ): i dont know this friend of his personally, but i really feel for him and his teammates. And i know, this guy is gna be missed so dearly by them ):
Amidst the rush of the exams the notes cramming the studying, so much is going on, behind the scenes ): |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 12th, 2010|12:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
i just finished an exam and im sitting opposite serena as she studies for her next paper and im here, refusing to study (cos i just finished a paper) and thus finding some little good entertainment for myself admist the solace. hahahah the room is so quiet cos i dont wna disturb her with my insistent nonsense and strange noises that im so darn prone to making. i realised, its actually quite difficult to keep quiet! hahaha nom nom nom :]
on the sidenote, the paper was rather difficult. It was research methods (like SPSS those who are taking FASS in NUS) hahaha. It had so many funny looking graphs and i dint know what exactly they wanted and i figured that even i stared longer at the stupid paper, i wouldnt get it neither. so, i left 1hr aft the paper started! hopefully, it wouldnt have any detrimental effects on my grades!
i heard some scary news from a friend ytd, and it made me feel how scary people, or girls are! mygosh the little words can turn into vicious stabs on someone and something so puny, can become something so hurtful. it makes me utterly wary of this person now and im scared that things i tell * will become little bullets against me since statements made can be twisted so badly. hahahah ohwell ):
i cant wait for the exams to be over and i can finally relax and enjoy my SUMMER. and start planning for my life/next 3 years of my uni life. hahahahah i cant wait for the little ones to hurry come join me in SMU, like crystal! then we got more crazy SMOOOERS in church! hehehe :] |
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zackaro0s's journal
