| (no subject) |
[Nov. 25th, 2009|12:06 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  busy | ] |
I broke my hiatus forrrrrr.... SEALLLLLL.
I LOVE SYLVIANNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE you're my FAVOURITE INDIAN FRIENDDDDDDDDDDDDD :] :] :] :]
HAPPY? :] :] :] :] :] I LOVE YOU LA! :] stop thinking that i dont care abt you! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 24th, 2009|02:39 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  determined | ] |
im going into isolation, and im 100% SERIOUS, i will only reply facebook bunch thread HAHHAA :]
Nomore facebook msn msging calling random ppl! i am going to conquer my pol science before it conquers me! The next 2 weeks are gna be HELL HELL HELL and i need all the time i can get to finishing studying the many thousand and one readings that my thick brain has to absorb within 4 days! I CAN DO IT THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH.
GOOD BYE WORLD. SEE YOU IN 2 WEEKS!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 22nd, 2009|11:52 pm] |
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| |  angry | ] |
IM READY TO MOVE ON WITH LIFE. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 22nd, 2009|05:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  listless | ] |
you dont know, how much i miss talking about everything with you, and doing the stupidest and most meaningless things with you.
God is good. He knows whats best for me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 20th, 2009|11:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cynical | ] |
dear exams,
you got me this time.
just a mere 5 days of intensive studying and it can bring me down so bad. I never used to be like that, i used to marvel at the fact of how i was able to withstand the stress and pressures of the Alevels. But this time, this stupid week 15 final exams have really gotten me so low. Maybe its because in uni, i do not have the support that i used to have in MJ with lou and syl and all. Now im all alone in this rat race, no christian fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to guide me along, people whom i used to rely on are also running the mad rat race of their own.
I finally understand why weixiong always say people drop out of SMU after awhile. And im here to refute the statement of how the Alevels are more difficult than Uni, cos that is just nothing but a load of bullcrap.
Nonetheless, sorry to the people i yelled at today. I think i am gna put myself through some crazy isolation before i start jumping into further conclusions, and getting so jumpy about everything. argh. i will be back to normal after my exams.
Meanwhile, im going for a hiatus. from facebook my phone msges MSN. i just dont feel like talking to anyone telling anyone anything or trusting anyone.
But my faithful reader jonathan yuan-yang han, thankyou for being concerned. for you i sunday dont grumpy k :] tsktsk :] |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 16th, 2009|09:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
why is everyone so madly in love? |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2009|08:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
some silly strange nitty gritty stuffs have been happening this week, and like what joel said, its the gossip girl analogy perfectly!!! and im not planning to divulge too much about it.
Basically, current emotions: made used of and threatened.
OFF I GO TO WRITE MY STINKY ESSAY. TMR OFF I GO TO SCHOOL AND THEN AIRPORT MUGGING WITH BESTFRIENDS :] cant WAIT :] |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2009|01:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
It feels completely weird when the circumstances around me change, and things that used to do appear in my life everyday, dont anymore. hahahahah and it happens like once in awhile its so strange :]
On the sidenote, HAPPY BIRTHDAY POOOOOOOO :] you're bloody 19 and you ought to grow taller :] hahahaha and you're so damn retarded to think that you're 20. Thank you for being the bestest friend that anyone could ever have. Even if you tell me that you want my services, or when you tell me you're doing something weird, i still will pick your callllllll :] thankyou for maintaining this friendship and even though we dont exactly speak much to each other anymore, i still feel so comfortable with you. and no matter what, you're the best and noone will ever replace you :] <3
I love the fact that we're such imperfect friends, friends who dont really meet up, friends who suck at singing birthday songs. But truth is, the imperfection made me feel that sense of familiarity again and that imperfection made us more human. Even though we havent met up in quite awhile, even though we remembered yuxuan's birthday 30mins before 12am, even though we are caught up in our whirlwind of lives, we bothered to keep our little phonecall 12am tradition running. Its been 4 years of friendship, WHOOPEE :]
Thankyou bunch :] love, xuan and me.
Now, back to work. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 13th, 2009|09:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
I will never walk alone
It might be the exams, it might be 2 research papers to finish, it might be 4 papers/mods to study for, it might only be a week more to finish all of the above. But with God i am more than a conquerer. Nothing will bring me down, no amount of work will make me tremble, because with God, nothing is impossible.
The workload might kill, but i will conquer. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 5th, 2009|01:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  predatory | ] |
I completely adore the sound of rain, especially in the wee hours of the morning. I stayed up till 4am ytd, doing tons of nonsense, settling some stuffs, and how could i forget, studying.
Its week 12. 3 more weeks to the looming exams, and having 3 more projs at hand, did i mention? WITH THE LOOMING EXAMS. Having to stay in school every single night after lesson (or when there are no classes), is no laughing matter.
It feels weird to blog in class. hahahaha. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 3rd, 2009|12:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | blank | ] |
I just read bel's blog, and i felt this immense urge to blog, something that i have always loved to do, but yet have no time to do so due to the contraints of the terribly insanely hectic life that i lead.
So yippee! i just finished 1 more essay (THANKYOU BEL)! 2 down 1 more thinkpiece to go and following, NOMORE POLITICAL SCIENCE. I never knew what a big pain political science is, till i really took it. I wonder how people can actually major in something so boring, that out of the 12 weeks of school, i have fell asleep twice! What is more my class is so puny and small, how in the world do you expect to escape the roving eyes of the TA and the prof. SIGH! :]
Finishing this essay has taken a HUUUGE load off my chest, and i know i have ANOTHER essay to conquer this coming weekend before I am done with my requirements. Plus 2 presentations looming near, there so much to do! I stayed in school for an whooping 10hours yesterday, and i felt quite sad when i left school because i realised, i did not even step out for lunch, i had pathetic usual meal of subway after meeting A and thereafter headed to the library to find Steph! ): And after studying for 5hrs, i headed for meeting B which ended at like 1030pm! ): and 1030 is not the latest. SIGH, IM ONLY YEAR 1 ):
More projects, more assignments, more work, more crap, more shit being thrown at you. But God will be my shield, and He will bring me through :] but thankyou those people who have been standing by me despite the insistent whining about work and school and more of those.
I want to learn to juggle my time properly. TIME FOR LUNCHIE! |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 24th, 2009|08:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
what do you do, when so much gets thrown at you and you have no shield to block them and they keep flying at you like daggers and all you can do is stand there like a dummy and get shot.
that is the exact same thing that is swarming my head now. how am i going to cope with the same amount of commitments outside of school, and school gettings 10 times heavier. What is worse is that i never seem to do well, no matter how much i study, and i just end up feeling utterly stupid because SMU is filled with people who seem to excel in everything they do, they can run jump lead swim play study rot date enjoy score As, and everything i get back a paper i think to myself, why cant i.
went for some Kbox after school with the choir today. it was damn friggin' fun and everytime i go to kbox, i find myself coming home thinking why even my voice not good enough.
On the other note, psych has been awfully interesting, cos i keep learning about personality. about incongruence and i keep taking all those personality quizzes which never fail to tell me that im an extrovert.
But really, there is so much more people dont see. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 12th, 2009|05:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
"you can become strong spiritually the same way you become strong physically, by exercising your faith. To be on your guard against evil, stand firm in your convictions, be a person of courage and speak for what's right, be strong and not quit under pressure"
We sin, we drift, we run, we play, we forget. But yet God loves, God forgives, God never runs. His love endures His mercy and grace never fails. Still, that feeling of condemnation, the feeling of guilt, the feeling of unrest lingers. But we learn, we grow. It takes time, it takes effort, but i know, God waits.
its good to head towards the bible instead of the tv after a bit of studying once in awhile. :] absolutely refreshing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 7th, 2009|02:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | relaxed | ] |
it feeeeeeels so darn good to have the recess week!!!! whhhoooopee! this week is packed with activities nonetheless but woah i absolutely the fact that i get to sleep in till late and not worry abt the mountain of work that i have to do and prepare for the week. (ok, it doesnt mean that i dont have to do them :/) but crap its already Wed, i only have 5 days left! ):
The only irony of it all is that im not spending anyday of my little precious recess week with Joel at all. But aiya, we've got so many other saturdays to. There is games comm recce tmr all over Singapore for our amazing race. Then, there is training on friday, and then Sal's big fat party which is gna be so darn fun cos i dont need abt worrying about my exams like i had to at dede's party! and I cant wait for Saturday, im having a cell outing and Jon is gna attempt to finish the YANKEE burger at New York New York. and like, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME MY CELL WENT OUT. im gna check up lawrence's chinese name in my yearbook before i head down on saturday. muahahahaha. and there's BUNCH on sunday i cant wait!!!!!! those people.. POOOOOIE, I WANT MY PRESENT.
I wonder who even reads my blog now, i barely even blog! (: (: (: i have been putting eyebag cream, this was for the midterms, what about the FINALS. oooooh dear.
IVP IN TWO WEEKS. AH. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 29th, 2009|07:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
I can believe im blogging, i usually blog like once in like 2 weeks or smth. but yea, i shall let the photos do the talking.
The only thing that is on my mind (other than the exams) is, MY BUNCH. (sorry dede, i know i very annoying i keep talking abt the same thing and thankyou for listening).
NI MEN HAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! HURRY COME BACK! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 28th, 2009|10:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  geeky | ] |
Yet another week. Yet another horror! i really do genuinely hope that i survive this week and come out of this battle in one piece and yay, ON TO RECESS WEEK, when i can finally breathe some good fresh air and not be stuck in the realms of studying.
I had a great weekend, with the party and the surprise and Sunday's pract and the surprise number 2. hahaha and i got to drink Cup Walker Peppermint Milk Tea :]
Here's a shout out to my bunchies: YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN MISSED SO MUCH I CANT BELIEVE WE HAVENT SEEN ONE ANOTHER IN SO LONG. IM GNA ORGANISE SMTH NEXT WEEK. WE ALL BETTER BE FREE AND MAKE TIME FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!
this 7 weeks of school made me realise, how darn irreplaceable these people are to me man. i think now, the people whom i really wna see most, are them and noone else :] hurry come back k bunchies we cannot not meet for so long :/
My God shall bring me through. ADD OIL EVERYONE, WHO IS STUDYING FOR THE BIG EXAMS. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 24th, 2009|10:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  rejected | ] |
I feel so demoralised, with the quizzes and all. The people in SMU are insanely competitive and it really sucks hearing that you did worse than people, three quarter of the time.
This week of school has been horrid, and im glad i survived to FRIDAY. I have this weird feeling of unrest, guilt, stupidity and like bewilderment about why the heck cant i do well like others. Things just seem to get worse and i move up the education level. Worse still, because of all the quiz grades i get back and they suck like hell, and it makes me lose that determination to study actually. hurr hurr ):
ok, moving on with life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 20th, 2009|10:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | good | ] |
what a sunday! i realised i always end up blogging on a Sunday cos i never fail to learn something which would strike me hard on a sunday!
Despite the fact that i was a chao ponner today, i went late for cell, did not serve, went late for speedlight cos i was having lunch with my cell, went late for pract cos i was talking to vinnie, dint go for 5-6pm pract cos i was talking to meiling. But the fellowship i got out from it was great! Sometimes, taking a break on a Sunday actually works. I stayed for the entire cellgroup today, and what i got out from it was amazing. My cellgroup shared alot about their own personal experiences abt chasing emptiness and having that emptiness in their lives, i knew i was not alone (:
Today, Vic talked abt us feel empty and i dawned upon me how much ive neglected God in my life. It has been nagging at the back of my head that i havent been praying or i havent been reading the bible. And the truth is, honestly truthfully shamefully, my bible was in the exact place where it was, last sunday. And it really dawned upon me how much ive been relying on myself and neglecting the God who is the bread of life! I have been caring so much about the little nitty gritty things about my insignificant life, trying so hard to juggle my things and yet, i forgot how much and how more than sufficient is my God. I guess its the starting, but i gotta get my life in check. church, leadership training, choir, games comm, cell, IVP, softball, driving, school work, projs, presentations, friends, old friends, distractions, temptations, they will not bring me down.
But it feels good, to have people around me concerned, asking me if im coping well in SMU and whether i need help or have i died rather. HAHAHA but yea :] i will survive.
I need to get in line with God, before anything else can work. I dont want to be a Christian without a purpose. I am not gna rely on myself anymore, He is more than enough. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 15th, 2009|01:59 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | busy | ] |
quick update!
I just ended Slow Pitch 2009, playing for SMU this time! and we got second! which is quite cool considering we lost our first place to the ex national players, who had people like JERRY (yea the HC coach) playing! hahaha and playing this competition made me realise, HOW DARN RUSTY I AM! and i still wanted to be garang and join the competition! the SMU Softball girls are trying really hard to make it for IVP this year so lots needs to be done, and i need to get down to TRAINING and becoming better than the shit standard i currently possess.
As for studies, it has been a mess due to the games ive been having over the weekend. and there're projs and tests and quizzes and midterms coming up i dont know how im gna cope with so many things, but i will find out how to, somehow. I took up the leadership training in church after much consideration, which means one more item on my plate to juggle.
Time flies, and brunei boy is returning in just a matter of 5 days. i so want him back to support me through all this crap and at least i have my boy back! hahaaa and there's lynn's party in a week or so and i need to get down to doing things that promised her i would do.
Im supposed to handle and squeeze in so many things, in 24hrs. I will do it somehow, but definitely with God's help. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 30th, 2009|09:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cold | ] |
hello world! im blogging in the comfort of my little room, with the music streaming through the itunes and my small little 13.3inch MacBook Pro! (: supposed to do a little bit of work now, since i did not do much ytd, but yea i thought i shall blog a little first. every Sunday i reach home, i never fail to feel nice and fuzzy because of the multitude of love i get from the Speedlighters and the fellow friends and people. I missed some of them today though, darren and the boy wasnt around! and my darling YASU did not come down to Tamp! ): Actually, i realised church is a really good avenue to keep in touch with friends! See, my bunchies arent in church thats why i dont get to really talk to them anymore! n louie is around so i get to talk to her too, but syllie is DEAD, hahahahah. I love the cellguys, even though they dont care abt my existence anymore cos the green army uniform stole them away from my side. HAHAHA.
anyway, i joined softball! yes i know, boring boring. nonetheless, there's the Slow Pitch competition the following 2 weeks thats why i ought to get more work done now whilst i still got the time before i get abit caught up and the competitions eat up the weekend! oh did i mention, i met ENG HOCK and he rmbed me! mygoodness, ENG HOCK, he's the coach for TPJC and i only played for him for like.. 3mths. hahhaha and he rmbed me! whooopee (;
ive taken a small liking for planetshakers, like quite uncool right! but NVM (: hahah Church was eventful. OH, ive taken a liking for Hannah Montana's songs, even more uncool. ive been singing it to lynn for the umpteenth time despite me not knowing the lyrics very well!
On the not so nice side, Joel has shipped himself over the continent to Brunei for abt a mth for his commando training stuffs! sigh! but ok, i will concentrate on my studies and do well! (: and not fall behind in any subject, somemore i dropped a module, so technically im only taking 4CUs this sem. so i better do well (; AH, char's party on FRI and i dont know what the HECK to wear.
k off to do my work :] |
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